All we had
by Cengiz
Summary: "JESS!" It screamed through his mind and Becker awoke in a sudden, heavily panting, his heart beating fast and painful in his chest. He didn't know where he was and his mind refused to work properly, being occupied by only one thought: What happened to his Jess.
1. Awake

**A/N:** Hello everybody.

Finally, after over a year I'm back. For everyone who wants to know what I did during this time, please feel free to visit my profile page.

Well, this is the last part of my triology, starting with "Rollercoaster" and "Doing Everything". You don't have to read them to understand this story. I'm going to explain during the chapters, what you might need to know.

Oh and due to my full time job now, I won't be able to upload as often as you're used to. To be on the safe side, let's say, I'll upload every two weeks. (I hope you're not too disappointed by now)

Anyway.

I hope you all are still with me and enjoy my new story. As for this one I kind of had a song for each chapter playing while I wrote them. For the first chapter it was "Echo" by Jason Walker. Maybe you can give it a listen and tell me how do you liked the song.

This chapter is not beta read. And I don't own anything except for my OC's.

So, Enjoy!

* * *

_The weight and worry fell from her heart in a sudden rush, she realised that the screams she had heard, that drew her from her hiding place had not been Becker's as she had feared, but Galant's. The bastard, the sick twisted nightmare was gone. He had died and nothing could stand between herself and Becker. Her wonderful hero, her knight in shining armour, and above all else, the love of her life. _

_Her brilliant smile grew and she stepped back, suddenly exhausted. It was over. She leant back against the cool metal of the lift. Relaxing and letting it take her weight, her eyes fixed on the Captain in front of her, drinking in the sight. The amount of blood, which should have worried her, only added to the appeal of the view. His sweaty face reminded her of his return from incursions, something she loved almost as much as the man himself._

It was that shining, glorious moment when the lift doors decided to open. With a shriek of horror, Jess fell backwards, awaiting the floor of the lift. But there was nothing, only emptiness. Screaming she fell down the depths.

"_JEEEESSSS!" Becker cried from the depths of his soul as he saw her falling backwards and disappear into nothing. He sprinted forward, his arms reached out and grabbed hold of the edges to lean over and peer down the shaft. His heart started to beat erratically as he saw her lying motionless on the ground, blood streaming from under her head and spreading over the concrete._

* * *

"JESS!" It screamed through his mind and Becker awoke in a sudden, heavily panting, his heart beating fast and painful in his chest. His eyes wide open, showing the sheer panic about the nightmare of his memories, were blinded by a bright, cold light. Becker narrowed them to a thin line, trying to recognize anything around him. He didn't know where he was and his mind refused to work properly, being occupied by only one thought: What happened to his Jess.

As the rush in his veins faded, sending his heart back to a normal beating rate, and his brain started to pick up its work, he moved his head from side to side, taking in the surroundings of a white coloured, sterile room. He was lying on a bed. Alone. 'Where was Jess?'

His mind managed to send the last word right through the synapses to his speaking muscles and he whispered: "Jess." The pain of his dry mouth rushed immediately down his throat and he squeezed his eyes shut, trying to endure the ache of thousands of needles torturing the sore flesh.

"Hey mate, you're finally awake", sounded the Irish voice from behind, followed by foot steps coming closer.

It didn't take long and the blurred bright light was replaced by a dark silhouette, bending over him.

Becker's eyes started to fixate and not long after the contours became clearer, recognising his co-worker and friend Matt. He greeted him with a faint smile playing around his lips.

"Welcome back, Becker." Matt greeted back, lowering his voice.

"Jess." The Captain whispered again, this time a little louder. He coughed heavily due to his dry mouth and throat.

"Easy!" Anderson replied concerned, reaching for a cup with a straw in it, placing it in front of the soldiers mouth. "Here, drink. You need some liquid."

Becker took in the little plastic material, sucking and swallowing twice, before Matt put the cup back on the side table, starting to explain. "They had to intubate you. That's why your throat is probably still burning. But this will fade. Just try not to talk too much. You need to rest anyway." His last words were spoken a little demanding, trying to order his friend not to speak any more.

But being the Captain he is, Becker strictly ignored his friend, asking again: "Jess?" His eyes silently commanded and pleaded at the same time, begging his companion to give him the answer he needed at most right now.

"Don't speak, Mate." Anderson tried again, but as he saw the other man raising all the strength that was left to speak again, he sighed, finally declaring: "She is," he paused, searching for the right words to say to calm the other man while not lying to him. "Alive." Matt finally stated. "She's alive. Don't worry." And with that, he made clear that he wouldn't allow any other reply from the younger man.

Matt decided, that his friend didn't need to know any more. Not at this state, not under his conditions. For the moment, this was enough.

Becker exhaled audible a relieved breath he didn't know he was holding.

She was alive. His Jess was alive. Thank god, alive. His Jess.

'Jess.' It resounded through his head and the Captain shut his eyes close. He needed all his strength to suppress the memories which unwillingly rushed back into his mind, forming tears at the corner of his eyes. He blinked several times, causing the salty liquids to run down his cheeks and dropping down on the pillow.

"Go back to sleep, Becker." Matt said quietly. "Your heart needs to rest." He lightly patted his friend's arm. As he saw Becker closing his eyes again, he went back to his chair he was sitting in for the last six hours.

/-/

Haunting memories filled his dreams, mixed with fear and anger. He saw Jess falling, over and over again. And over and over again, he couldn't save her, wasn't fast enough at her side, failed horribly. Barely able to take it any longer his mind finally released him from his memories and Becker awoke again, sweat running down his forehead and neck, wetting the white bolster beneath.

He moaned slightly in frustration as he noticed the room hadn't changed. He was still in the hospital room, still lying on the bed, and he realised that his dreams were still true. Jess had fallen down the elevator, but she was alive, wasn't she? Matt wouldn't lie to him. Wouldn't he?

There was only one way to make this sure. He had to get up and find Jess. As he struggled to sit up, a pounding ache ran through his head, making him dizzy, but he managed to steady himself.

In an instant Emily was at his side. "Hey! What do you think you're doing?" The Victorian lady reprimanded the patient, grabbing his shoulders and shoving him forcefully back to his lying position.

"I need to get up." Becker answered, trying to sit up again.

"Why?" Emily asked, easily pushing him back to bed.

"I need to see Jess!" The Captain replied vexed. It bugged him that he hadn't enough power to fight against the woman's grip. Was he really that weak?

"No you don't!" The young lady countered, pinning him down to the mattress.

Becker was startled by her forceful voice. Her eyes fixated him, daring him to mess with her again.

"But Jess?" He literally pleaded her.

Emily simply shook her head. "You're not ready to walk around, let alone to see Jess. So stop trying." She demanded, deep concern swinging in her tone.

The soldier huffed angrily, but finally gave in. He lay his head back on the pillow, instantly feeling the headache fading. He sighed audible, his gaze fixed at the right corner of the room. Turning his head back, he looked at the Victorian Lady, sitting in her chair. In a low voice he asked: "Where's Matt?"

"He had to go to an incursion." She explained.

Immediately Becker was back to his Head-of-Security-mode. His head darted forward, reprimanding himself why he didn't even think about his other friends and soldiers. He had to be out there, protecting them, leading the mission.

Emily saw his worried expression. "Don't worry, Becker." She laid her hands back on his shoulders to soothe him, slightly pushing him back. "They are alright. Donalds is in charge, until you're back at full power of course. And Matt told via intercom that they only have to deal with herbivores." Watching him attentively, she continued. "Don't blame yourself, Becker."

What was that? Did he suddenly have a neon sign running over his forehead and stating everybody his feelings?

The brunette smiled heartedly, reading him easily. "Becker, you don't have enough power to hide your emotions yet."

The soldier rolled his eyes at her, starting her to chuckle. He huffed and turned his head away. Shutting his eyes, the exhaustion rushed back over him and he drifted of to sleep.

* * *

**A/N:** So this was the start, I hope you liked it. Please leave a review.

Have a nice day!

:o)


	2. Holding on

**A/N: ** Hey everybody! It's time for a new chapter and I hope you'll enjoy it.

A big thank you to YouHaveLovelyHair for beta-reading this last-minute.

And I want to dedicate this chapter to lovingthis. I haven't heard from you since and I hope you're alright. They told me you have a rough time and I hope this little chapter can cheer you up a little. (Well probably not, because of the content but, well, I hope you know what I mean ;)

Next, there are actually two songs I heard when I had this chapter in mind. The first one is "Breath easy" by Blue, although it's a really old song and the lyrics aren't quite fitting, it was pretty mind-occupying, and the other one is a german song, so most of you probably won't understand it but it's sung very lovely. It's calles "In diesem Moment" by Joel Brandenstein. Maybe you can give them a listen and tell me how do you find those songs.

Anyway.

Have fun!

* * *

The memories haunted Becker again through the night, keeping him tossing and turning in bed. It was only because of the doctor, who decided to give him sedatives, that he finally found a snatch of sleep at the crack of dawn.

Hitting noon, his sleep got lighter and he started to recognize slow movements around him. An audible click was followed by a sudden bright light hitting his face and Becker instantly raised his hand to shield his closed eyes from the impact.

"Sorry to wake you up, Captain, but you really need to eat." The nurse justified her doing and brought his bed into a sitting position, not paying the slightest attention to her patient's resistance.

"Damn! Didn't the doctor order me to rest?" Becker huffed, not liking in the slightest to be rudely awakened.

The nurse smirked widely, placing a tray with food in front of him. "Like I said, you need to eat," she countered.

The Captain gave in and rubbed his lids, forcing himself to wake up. He had to blink several times before his eyes could adjust themselves to the intense light. Watching the nurse leave, he turned his head back to the nurture in front of him. Reluctantly, he took his fork and picked into the food. Grimacing at its consistency, Becker decided that he wasn't hungry at all and put the cutlery aside.

"You really need to eat." Sounded Newton's voice suddenly through the bedroom.

Becker started and turned to the private. "I didn't realise I had an audience."

"Well, your senses seem to recently loose a bit of their sharpness." The young soldier countered cheekily.

"Don't worry. That'll be only temporary. As soon as I'm out of here I'll make sure to regain full power." The Captain stated confident and a smirk appeared onto his lips, greeting his soldier friendly.

A moment of silence fell onto the two before Newton started to speak again: "I'm glad you're finally awake, Captain." He studied the still visible signs of his outburst on the opponent's face barely three days ago. The cut under Becker's eye had started to heal but the flesh had turned to a dark shade of purple, the other bruises became a slight shade of yellow and the cut on his lip was already disappearing. He still remembered the sheer rage and hate he felt that day for his superior. And then, only ten hours later he had fought for him. Fought for his life by giving him a cardiac massage and begging him to hang on as Becker had his heart attack. He saved him and now seeing him awake, giving snappy answers again, Newt felt nothing but great relief and sympathy for that man.

Becker nodded reassuringly, confirming his friend. "And I'm glad you're here."

"Well, I just wanted to keep you up to date a little about what's happened the last few days."

Caleb could barely finish his sentence as Becker took the floor. "How many days have passed by?" He asked in a sudden serious voice.

"A little more than two days." The private replied earnestly.

The soldier sighed audibly, doing the math in his head. "So it's already New Year?"

"Yep. I would hand you some champagne to celebrate, but you're not allowed to drink alcohol yet." Newt replied, trying to lift the spirits.

The Captain grinned cheekily. "Well, that's a pity. Thanks for the thought anyway." Then he paused, the concerned expression finding its way back onto his face. He took a moment to gain strength before he stated the question he wanted to ask since spotting his inferior. "How is Jess?"

Newt knew that this question would be popped eventually and he really wanted to avoid the answer just a little longer. "Well -" He searched for a change of topic. "Don't you want to hear the newest incursions first?"

The Captain shook his head. "Please tell me. How is Jess?"

"Why do you think I would know?" Caleb replied, shirking the answer.

"Because I know you. And I bet you stood by her side all the time." He responded, being absolutely positive.

The private couldn't hide the smile that sneaked onto his lips at being caught that easily. "Well, not all the time. After all I've got a job to do." He replied cockily. "But yeah the rest of the time I pretty much stuck to her bedside." He answered and the worry forced its way back on his face.

Becker realised the change of expression and he felt his chest tightening as he questioned again. "How is she, Newton?"

"You better find out yourself." The young man answered short-spoken.

"You mean?" The Captain questioned astonished with eyes wide open.

"The doctor said, you're allowed to visit her as soon as you're awake." Caleb told him truthfully.

Looking like he wanted to scream '_And you only tell me that now!_' Becker tossed his blanket aside, intending to jump out of his bed as fast as possible.

"Wow! Slow down, Captain!" Newt shouted, instantly stopping him in his movement. "Don't you wanna change yourself out of the gown first?"

"Oh. Yes. That might be a good point." Becker replied, looking down at the fabric that barely covered his private parts.

"Why don't you sit back, while I'll go and bring you some spare clothes from your locker." He offered already heading for the door.

Becker nodded, putting himself back under the blanket. "Do that, private."

"And try to eat something. I don't want you to pass out on the floor." Newt ordered as he quickly left the room.

/-/

The first thing Becker recognised as he entered the intensive care room was the steady sound of the breathing machine, assisted by the beeping of the heart-monitor. He looked around to find his love lying on the bed, eyes closed. With slow steps he went to her bedside. Her sight let his heart ache all over and his chest constricted, making it hard to breathe. He looked over her fragile body, not daring to touch her in the slightest. Her skin was deathly pale. A bandage completely enveloped her head, ending right over her eyes. A tube was coming out of her mouth disappearing into the breathing machine to bring her the essential air. Another tube threaded through her nostril, feeding her with nurture. In addition there was an infusion, coming from a bag with colourless liquid and heading right into her arm vein, supplying her with pain medication.

"Oh Jess." Becker swallowed hard, trying to keep his tears from falling. "What have I done? What have I done?" He questioned himself, his voice barely a whisper.

The chair right next to him stood there as a matter of prudence and he let himself drop powerlessly onto the wooden piece.

The soldier inhaled deeply. "My lovely, lovely Jess." Becker wanted to say more, wanted to talk to her like Newton encouraged him to do so, but his voice refused to work.

He shut his eyes tight, pressing the salty liquids out of the corners to run across his cheeks. With the back of his hand he wiped them away, his other hand somehow found its way to Jess' lying hand, wrapping around it, his fingers caressing her tender skin.

"I love you, Jess. I love you so much." He halted to take a breath. "I wish I could do anything to make you better, to wake you up. To make this all undone. I so wish I could."

Becker brought her hand to his mouth, kissing it lightly, before he hugged it to his cheek, feeling her soft, warm flesh. Turning his head he closed his eyes and kissed her fingers, whispering into the skin: "I need you, Jess. So much. Please wake up. Don't leave me."

Becker felt so selfish for telling her that. He knew she needed rest, and most of all she needed time. But he couldn't wait. He needed her to be awake. He couldn't be without her any longer. He couldn't live without her, her smile, her rambling, her kisses, her love for him. He simply couldn't.

His heart ached even more as he begged again. "Wake up, Jess. Please, you have to." The last words were mixed with his cry, his falling tears wetting her skin.

The heart monitor started to beep irregularly, and Becker startled as the pace increased.

"Jess?" He questioned in shock, his own heart started to race and his breath quickened.

As the tone ended in a shrill sound, screaming through the room he jumped up, bending over her. "JESS!"

He screamed turning to the door. "Help! I need help!"

Instantly a team of three medics rushed inside the room, conducted by a young doctor. "Aside!" She shouted, shoving the Captain away, and went to her patient.

The staff bustled around Jess with practised steps, laying her flat down and rushing her bed to the treatment room.

"Jess please, don't do this to me!" Becker cried, running after his girl.

"She's having another aneurysm! Start the sedation, we need to operate again!" The doctor shouted to her colleagues, ignoring the man standing beside the table.

"Jess! Please! Don't leave me!" Becker screamed panicking. "JESS!"

The doctor turned her head, looking at the private who was standing at the entry, frozen in terror. "Cal, get him out!" She ordered and Newt, coming out of his stiffness, did as he was told, rushing to the Captain and dragging him out of the room.

* * *

**A/N:** I hope you enjoyed reading it. Please leave a review and let me know.

Have a nice day!

:o)


	3. Letting go

**A/N:** Hello everybody. It's time for the next upload and I hope you had two good last weeks. First of all I wanted to thank you for all the many lovely reviews. THANK YOU. Although some of you have no account, I like thanking you personally. And I hope I didn't forget anybody the last time, if so then please let me know (I'm really sorry for that, I had two tough weeks).

Second, and for this you are going to hate me I fear, I'm having a further education for the next three weeks far away from my hometown, so I can't upload any chapter during that time. This means that the next chapter will be uploaded in a month. I'm so sorry, but work comes first.

So, since I upload this at such a late hour, there is no beta-read, therefore all mistakes are mine. *hopes that there are no bad ones*

The song for this chapter was written by Ross Copperman and is called "Holding on and letting go", which is also the inspiration for this headline and that one of the last chapter. The song is really lovely and I hope you give it a listen.

Anyway. Here comes the story.

Have fun!

* * *

The sun shone brightly onto the snow-covered gravestones, letting the cold white flakes sparkle like thousands of diamonds. It was peacefully silent on the graveyard. A chill breeze went through the air, sneaking up on the people coming together for this mournful event.

Shivering slightly, the Victorian Lady snuggled a little closer into her companion. Matt felt the light pressure increase and instantly hugged her tighter. He pressed a tender kiss to her temple while both continued to watch their friends standing in front of the big angel statue, grieving, not looking up to the padre who started to speak.

"Sometimes, a child leaves us behind, as it heard the call from above louder than the call of life. It closes its eyes and flies away like a butterfly, faltering back into light and leaving us alone with all the questions. Without an answer about the meaning of the beginning, that makes us seem incomplete. Leaves us behind with all the hope, that will not fulfil. A blossom that wilted without to bloom." He paused, watching the blond woman to his right crying and clutching the tiny urn tightly, pressing it to her heart.

Connor stood to Abby's side, holding both her shoulders, stroking the fabric and trying to sooth her. Biting his own grieve back, he did everything to be there for her because he knew how much she needed him right now.

"Faith," the padre continued, and the sound of their unborn child's name sent stitches of pain through the parents hearts. "You decided to leave this world even before you walked on it. Flying right to heaven, to become a star, watching over your parents and lightening their way in the dark. Laughing when they laugh and crying when they cry. For now we have to say goodbye. But only for a short while. Knowing that you will never leave them alone, that you will wait for the day you all will be reunited in heaven to shine together, brighter than any star shone before."

He was cut off by the loud scream of the blond woman, who couldn't hold it any longer. Connor grabbed her and held her tight against his chest, steadying her fragile shivering figure while she cried her heart out.

With tears in his eyes, Connor kissed her gently on the forehead, speaking softly next to her ear. "Come on Abby, time to say goodbye."

"Noooo." Abby blubbered out, her voice stifled by the fabric of his coat.

"We need to let go." He explained and rested his chin against her head. His tears fell down his cheeks as he closed his eyes, relishing the moment of her warm body against his own to stiffen his ache.

Abby shook her head, clutching the ceramic tighter. "I can't." She whimpered, tears rushing unfettered down her cheeks. "It was my fault, Connor. It was all my fault."

"No." Connor said soothingly, disagreeing with her to the fullest.

Taking no notice of his dissent, she continued: "I should have protected her. But I let her down. She wasn't even born and I let her down, Connor. What kind of mother does this to her child?" She lifted her head, looking him frantically in the eyes.

Connor covered both her cheeks with his hands, circling softly the skin with his thumbs. "Abby," he started calm and gently. "It was not your fault! How could you ever protect her from such an attack?"

"I was safe, Connor! Safe, back there in the menagerie. And I chose to leave this place, to go out and stand against this villain." She explained, her heart wrenching painfully at the memories.

"You only protected your friends, honey. You thought it was the right thing to do at that time." He replied. He knew Abby put everyone first before her own safety. She was such a caring, lovely person and he would never blame her for that one second.

"I didn't think!" She half whispered, half screamed. "I didn't think at all. I should have chosen the safety of our daughter above everything. And I didn't!" She paused before adding in a low voice: "I'm a horrible mother, even before I had the chance to be one."

Connor grabbed her by her shoulders, scolding her in a serious voice: "You're not a horrible mother! Abby! You chose to protect your friends, your family! Like I chose to help Jess instead of going to you to protect you. If you want someone to blame, then blame me! I wasn't there for you and the child."

"Connor, I could never blame you. You didn't do anything wrong." Abby answered, appalled and astonished by his words.

"Neither did you!" He countered from the bottom of his heart. "Abs, I know this is the most terrible thing on earth we are faced with. But we will get through it. Together. We have each other. And we have our friends who have our backs. We are a family. And one day we will have a child. Now, it just wasn't our time to be. But some day, I swear, it will be. And we will be great parents."

Abby was amazed at his words, and really proud of the man he had become. She always knew she could count on him any second but hearing his talk convinced her, once again, that he would be there for her no matter what and that this was the man, her soul mate, she wanted to grow old with.

Thinking it over, she eventually nodded her approval. "So this is our goodbye now?" She questioned, looking at the tiny ceramic that was covered in her hands.

"This is our goodbye." Connor confirmed, kissing her on the hair and stroking across her back.

Abby inhaled deeply, blinking her tears away. "Goodbye my love." She whispered and pressed a lovingly kiss onto the urn.

"Goodbye." Connor repeated, following suit her gesture, before he handed the urn to the padre who placed it into a niche at the socle of the statue.

Matt and Emily watched their friends embracing tightly. The Irishman nodded politely as the man dressed in black stepped aside him.

"Thank you padre. That was wonderful." He thanked the man who also had buried his father long time ago.

The man smiled heartedly. "It was my pleasure."

"That was so beautiful. I wish we had a place to bury our unborn or stillborn back in my time." Emily remarked, being touched by the whole moment.

Matt cautioned her from the corner of his eye not to go any further. And the Victorian Lady nodded, being aware that she nearly exposed their secret.

Not noticing their silent conversation the padre continued to speak. "Well, we are all children of God, no matter how we were born. And there should be a place for everyone of us. More importantly, the parents need a place to grieve and a place to say goodbye to their children. And were would this be better than here." He explained truthfully.

The three persons shook hands before the padre turned around and left the little group to have time of their own.

Matt and Emily started to head to their vehicle, too, leaving the mourning couple some privacy, as his phone started to ring. He picked it up and listened carefully to the voice on the other line. His face became serious as he answered. "Alright. We're heading right back."

"What's wrong?" Emily questioned, being alarmed at his expression.

Before he could reply a word Connor called him. "Matt? Anything alright?"

The leader looked into his direction, recognising that he now had all their attentions. Dragging Emily with him, he stepped back to his friends, declaring: "Jess is back in the surgery. She had an aneurysm rupture. Looks pretty badly." The others gaped in shock and he continued. "Emily and I are heading back. You should stay here, take your time."

It was Abby who disagreed instantly. "No! We're coming with you." Looking questioningly to her companion, whispering: "You OK with that?" Seeing him nod in agreement she turned back to Matt stating louder. "We said our goodbye. Now it's time for the living to care about."

The Irishman nodded his OK and the four went to their SUV, heading back to the ARC.

* * *

A/N: That was it. Sorry for it to be that short but I chose the rest to be in the next chapter and leave this one completely to Abby and Connor.

The first part of the padre's speech was written by a German mother who lost her child during pregnancy. I found it on the internet and just translated the words because it was so beautiful. The rest is all mine.

As I stated in the last story "There will be one funeral", I wanted to tell you, that was it. And according to the long time you will be waiting for the next chapter I will let you know that Jess is going to survive. Like I already told Juls, without Jess it would have been a short story, and I don't like short stories. That's why she will live. But I like real drama, too. So be aware of that in the next chapters it will get really gut-wrenching.

I hope you still liked the chapter, please let me know.

Have a nice day!

:o)


	4. Waiting for a sign

**A/N:** Hello my lovely readers. I am so, so sorry for keeping you waiting that long. My work in RL is pretty tough right now and I need to move soon, therefore I got no time for literally anything. Again, I am sorry, and I really hope you are still with me.

Actually this chapter wasn't standing on its own, but I decided to split it to upload it now. Therefore this chapter had no song I used to write, but, to continue with it, I think the song "Nowhere warm" by Kate Havenik is quite fitting. Please give it a listen and tell me what you think.

A big thank you to YouHaveLovelyHair for beta reading the chapter.

And a big thank you to all of you who read, reviewed, liked and followed my story so far.

Here comes the chapter.

Enjoy!

* * *

At a hurried pace the group walked down the corridor of the medical bay, directly heading for the large double-door at the end that shielded the operation room from the waiting area. Abby was ahead of them with Connor right beside her and Emily and Matt two steps behind, walking hand in hand.

The young blonde spotted Becker sitting on the chair nearest the door. He was a picture of misery; his head hanging, his upper body bending over like a mope, his arms leaning on his legs for support. Even from the distance she could make out the salty liquids sparkling in his eyes. Newt had his head turned towards him, whispering, his arm on the Captain's back, trying to calm him down.

"Becker." Abby shouted and quickened her pace.

The quiet talk stopped instantly and both men looked at her. Seeing his friend rushing towards him, Becker felt relief and desperation at the same time. He pushed himself up from his chair. The tears which didn't dare to leave his eyes started to roll freely across his cheeks as Abby ran right into his open arms. Both hugged each other tightly as if the other one was a life line.

"Jess ... she's ... Jess." Was all Abby could hear as the once so strong and controlled man sobbed into her shoulder like a hurt, lost child.

The young woman hugged her friend tighter. "Shush. Becker. She'll be fine." She whispered, trying to convince them both. Her own tears started to fall freely down her cheeks as she closed her eyes, praying that she didn't have to bury another beloved one this day.

Connor waited shortly as Abby rushed into the Captain's arms, knowing that they only needed each other right now. As the crying started to fade, he stepped nearer, wrapping his arms around them. Becker removed one arm from Abby and clasped the scientist's shoulder, dragging him closer. The feeling of their support, lifted a large rock off his shoulders and it felt as if he was finally able to breath properly again.

After a moment of eternity Becker took a deep breath, regaining control of his emotions. He loosened his grip on his friends, albeit not letting completely go of them. "Thanks for being here." He spoke barely audible.

"You are more than welcome!" Connor replied warmly while Abby gave him another quick hug.

"We are always here for you." She whispered into his ear before she stepped aside, leaving space for the two patiently waiting other friends to comfort him.

Emily hugged him dearly, speaking softly: "Jess is strong, she'll pull through. Trust me."

Becker only nodded into her neck, not daring to believe her. Matt was last, giving his friend a quick, strong, brotherly hug.

Taking seat on the chairs, the group waited in silence till the operation was over, or till at least someone would come out and inform them about Jess' status.

The time passed by, seconds became minutes and minutes turned into hours, and still no sign that the operation had come to an end. The waiting gnawed on Becker's nerves, one leg was bouncing up and down, trying to ease some of the tension, to little avail. Besides the pain of his unbearable stressed muscles he felt nothing inside, as if he was a big empty shell. Even his mind was blank, not daring to think one single thought, to not tempt fate in any way.

Without recognising, he tightened his grip on the armrest of his chair until his knuckles turned into a shade of white. Abby, who was sitting next to him - curled up into her fiancé's lap, tenderly held by his arms - stretched her free hand out to clasp around the Captain's large fingers.

A faint smile flickered across the soldier's lips as he felt the warm hand surrounding his and gently squeezing it in a supporting manner. He looked at her for a moment and viewed her tired and exhausted face, scarred by dark circled eyes which were puffy red from long dried tears. She looked as horrible as he felt, and it was in this moment that he wondered to himself how deep their concern and love for Jess would be. After all she was a part of their chosen family, like a little sister to them, and he only had thought about his own pain and worries all the time, completely forgetting that his friends would suffer as well if they lost her.

If he only knew that Abby and Connor had to go through their own nightmare the past days, he would have blamed himself even more.

Before he could spend one more thought at his friends, the large door finally cracked open, releasing a doctor in her surgical gown, covered in blood.

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**A/N:** Sorry for the cliff hanger. Again.

I hope you liked it. Please leave a comment and let me know.

Have a nice day!


	5. Watching over you

**A/N**: Hi, my dear readers. It's time for a new chapter, and I really hope you'll like it.

Thank you so far for reading my story, and for liking, following and reviewing it. I appreciate that a lot!

The song I took for this chapter is "Watching over you" by Seaboud, hence the title. Please tell me if you like it.

A special thanks goes again to YouHaveLovelyHair for your beta-read. Thank you so much!

Alright, here it comes.

Have fun!

* * *

_Before he could spend one more thought at his friends, the large door finally cracked open, releasing a doctor in her surgical gown, covered in blood. _

Instantly the group fell into a state of shock, looking straight at the woman. No one dared to ask the one question that all had in mind.

Becker stood bolt upright, his wide, shocked eyes fixed on the doctor as she slowly walked over to them.

"Jess?" He questioned in horror, his mouth agape, not able to speak further. Seeing the bloody surgeon made him ashen-faced, the muscles in his legs weakened but still he found the strength to keep standing.

The woman smiled reassuringly, confirming: "Miss Parker is fine." Striking a more serious note, she added. "So far."

All heaved audibly a sigh of relief. Abby fell around Connor's neck, who hugged her tightly. Matt and Emily embraced, too, before they stood up.

Emily gave Becker a quick hug, who responded with his eyes still fixed on the woman in front of him. The Irishman patted his back supportively. Abby and Connor also stood up and clung to the Captain on either side, who absent-mindedly put his arms around their shoulders.

"I'm Dr. Newton, by the way." The woman spoke, holding her hand towards the soldier for shaking. "I'm Miss Parker's neurosurgeon."

Still under a little shock, he loosened the grip on his friends and shook the doctor's hand. "What happened? How is she?" He questioned, his feelings rode rollercoasters inside.

"She had another aneurysm, due to her fall. It ruptured and caused a pressure on her brain, as well as a lack of oxygen that caused her circulatory collapse. We got it under control and could fix the rupture. She'd lost a lot of blood, and we had to give her several transfusions to keep up the blood pressure." The doctor explained in detail. Halting shortly to give utterance, she continued: "I have to tell you that we don't know what the pressure and lack of oxygen will cause to her brain."

"But she is alive?" The Captain requested.

"Yes! For now." She affirmed, adding. "The next 48 hours will be very critical, but if she remains stable then I am certain that she will survive."

Breathing audibly, Becker's mind slowly processed what he just heard. "Can I see her?" His hazel eyes were filled with pure hope that the answer is yes.

The doctor shook her head, denying. "Not now. My team is just making her ready for critical care unit. Maybe later. In a couple of hours I would suggest. You can go home for now. It was a really tough day. I'll let someone call you when you're allowed to visit her."

"I'm waiting here." The man stated, adamant.

"Alright."She accepted, not discussing further. She already knew it was useless with people like him. She shook the Captain's hand for goodbye, then the others' in turn and made her way back.

The Dr. came to an halt in front of Caleb, who waited near the door.

The private hugged her dearly, before he held her at an arm's length. "Thank you for not letting her die." He said with great relief.

"I did my best, Cal." She answered, giving him her heartiest smile.

"No! You were incredible! As always." The young man affirmed and hugged her again.

Becker watched the scene with a concerned frown, wondering why the private seemed to be so familiar with the surgeon. "I'm sorry, what was your name again?" He asked loudly towards their direction.

The woman in questioned turned her attention to the soldier, her arm still in contact with Newt's back, caressing. "Dr. Newton. Alba Newton." She answered, smiling shortly at him.

Finally it sunk in. "You're his - "

"Sister. That's right." She completed. Nodding at him, she then turned her attention back to her brother, kissing him on the cheek, before she disappeared behind the door.

Becker walked towards his private, questioning calmly. "Since when is your sister here?"

"She was the first one I called after Jess fell." Caleb admitted. "I wanted her to have the best surgeon, and my sister is the best in the world. She instantly flew here and took care of her."

Great relief fell from the Captain's shoulder, now knowing that the soldier did what he would have done as well. He entrusted Jess' life to the private. He knew Caleb would do everything for her and he was mightily glad to have him under his command.

Becker raised his hand, touching his shoulder and squeezing lightly, thanking him with a warm smile. The private understood the gesture, knowing that his commander was no man of great words. He nodded, smiling reassuringly back at him.

/-/

It took 8 hours, 27 minutes and 49 seconds, not that he counted, before a nurse walked towards him, telling that he now was allowed to visit Jess.

Silently he stood up and followed her into a small clinical room. The walls, floor and ceiling were tiled. On the right side stood a couple of lockers; opposite was a shower next to a stool with sterile clothes on it.

The nurse explained him that he needed to shower and change to minimize the risk of infecting Jess with bacteria that cause potentially deadly infections like sepsis. Becker did as he was told, he even took the cleansing exceedingly precise, making sure that he in no case posed a threat to his beloved girl.

With lightly wet hair and in paper-like, mint-greenish medical scrub he entered the intensive care room.

She looked like the last time he saw her, sleeping deeply in the bed, her skin equally pale. The breathing machine filled her lungs with air and the heart monitor beeped in its steady rhythm, evincing that she was alive. Only the bandage that had enveloped her head has given way for an even larger surgical dressing, dyed in a reddish at the upper left area, giving evidence for the fresh postoperative scar.

Becker took a chair from the side, placing it near the bed, but keeping a safe distance. He sat down, breathing in deeply. Fresh tears were formed in the corners of his eyes, running down his cheeks as he exhaled. He wanted to touch her. But he was afraid that the same would happen like last time. Jess was strong, but still she wouldn't survive another complication.

Guilt crept up on him, seeing her lying there, fighting for her life and not being able to do anything to help her through. If only he could take away her injuries. At least he could keep her company, hoping that she would feel his presence even if he didn't touch her.

Hearing the periodical sounds of the breathing machine and the rhythmic beeping of the heart monitor becalmed him. He knew as long as he heard that, she was alive. Her pulse was weak but steady and her heart was strong. She always was so strong. He knew she will make it. She had to. She only needed some time.

Becker sighed loudly, watching her chest rise and fall. He didn't dare to pray for her. He couldn't. He knew that it already was a miracle that she had survive the fall. And he didn't dare to beg for another, fearing that his wishes might be answered with a no.

So he remained sitting there in silence, watching her and keeping guard.

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**A/N**: Poor Becker, he can't do anything to help his Jess. How will he cope with that? And how will the others react? You will read it in the next chapter.

I hope you liked the chapter. Please push that little button below and leave a comment! I do love reviews! Very! Anyway, thanks for taking the time and reading it.

Have a nice day!

:o)


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